“Democrats and Republicans brains: will not or is it
they can not work together to find a common solution?”
~ Cynthia G. Creel
She stared at her almost legal adult teen age daughter in disbelief as the realization that her daughter was once again going to run out the door to live inadequately prepared for life, to be angry and unable to make rational choices. Her daughter was intelligent, beautiful, talented, and like by many. None of that make a difference at that moment, only if in time she wasn’t able to break through the brick wall in her daughter’s mind or even to make the mortar crumble enough to bring back sane choices to the one she loved the most. The one she would give her life for to help. Right now the only chance of giving her power to make the correct choice would be the ability to create understanding instead of “breaking” her daughter. She had to be strong or just strong enough to redirect the river of emotions flowing through them all.
She knew all the signs and patterns every second she knew of past history that included calling the police to look for her with her daughter showing up unharmed and still having to deal with the police’s call of chastising that they had being looking for her, even in dumpsters not knowing if she was alive or dead taking many man hours that could have been used somewhere else. She didn‘t need to be told she knew all of this and so much more. This information was to overwhelming for her daughter to deal with the stress of the thought. It could have put her over the edge if her daughter had not sloughed it off. Everyone in the family knew that her daughter needed help, the family need help, no one was immune, all were at risk. Everyone had suggestions. No professional truly had answers, except for the option of a prescription drugs. She new that would only be a shallow choice, it may help in the short run, but never correct the underlying issue.
The stand off between parents and daughter intimately became a stand off between mom and daughter. She knew she had more tools to work than her younger counter part that could change the course of this river. She also knew it was like walking on egg shells, any wrong move and she would not be able to redirect, she would only be able to watch the reaction and the door slam shut.
For the moment she was stabilizing the situation and then the one word that pushed too much, that stressed the situations and cracked all the egg shells at once happened. She watch her daughter run out the door slamming the door behind her with the thoughts of success that would help them all become the family they should have always been disappearing as quickly as the sound of the “boom” from the door being closed so forcefully. into the air. With no evidence left behind to demonstrate the battle that had just occurred except the emptiness of the room and the feelings hanging heavy in the air.
She thought quickly about what she had done to set her daughter off and as soon as she went there she changed her focus from what was done to what to do now. She had paid thousands of dollars to understand the rule was not to empower the unwanted behavior. As she stood still she closed her eyes to quickly think of the solution that would work. She thought I was getting through to her for just a moment her daughters eyes had changed from steel cold to a warm glow as the ideas were getting through to make a new choice that included staying and working things out so everyone would get something. Instead of just throwing it all away and putting herself in harms creating a happenstance event leaving her a life of others in control rather then being able to create her own destiny.
At this moment the only strength she could rely on was her ability to think, plan and create a solution that would work even if it was limited to only one solution. There could be no night in shining armor to help her. She was the only one that could solve the problem, the war was between no one else except her daughter and her. Others could only offer different perspectives that may or may not help depending on their level of true understanding. No one had her understanding of the events leading up to this point.
She had a choice to stay in the house or run outside to see if there was time and energy to talk one again, to break through the wall. This time it was different, the wall had started to crumble just a little, she decided to take the risk she would be right if she could phrase things well enough to elicit a response not just a reaction. She caught up with her daughter just in time, who was about to get on her bike and leave, maybe this time forever. She couldn’t think of that right now, she needed to focused on the complications of a successful diplomatic act using every tool at her disposal that would reverses this situation and allow the life become the way it should have always been. In order for that to happen there had to be time to heal the wounds. To change.
During these dark days there was almost nothing that bonded her daughter to the home she had grown up in. The fact she was using her bike this time said to her that her daughter was going away faster and further. She had to act quick and if she became emotional all would be lost, just giving her daughter the idea she was weak and could not help her. It would be tricky to present with just the right emotion to not look uncaring or too over the top to deal with.
The car and other tools made a narrow path and it gave just enough time for her to think as she stood near watching her daughter prepare to leave. She knew the fact that leaving her family behind would not sway her, her kitties that she had helped raised since she was 5 or the room she adored. The only thought she could think of that might work in this case, at this time was the fact admitting that she was wrong and if her daughter wanted to be happy in her life she needed to work together to find a way for everyone to be happy that her family would miss her, but they would live on. Her kitty would miss her the most and she would never understand why she had left. If she did not stay there could be no improvement to create happiness.
The moment of truth came she waited the tenths of a second to see if there was an action planned or a reaction of anger and her disappearing down the street most likely not to be seen again for this had happened so often she knew the day would come there would be no string to hold her home or to come back and she would be lost to the world with no one who would truly care enough to put their life on the line for her.
She smiled as she saw the muscles loosen their grip on the bike just enough to make the wheel be pulled by the gravity of the earth to it’s natural resting position. Her heart leaped with joy of the victory just won not for her alone, for her family, for her daughter. When the words hit the air like fireworks exploding into the night sky, “Ok, I will stay.”
This was the turning point, it was not one side wining over the other, it was both sides looking for a solution the worked the best for everyone. This could only happen with two willing parties.
This would not be the last time there was a battle that would be fought for wining a war. It takes may battles to be won usually to end a conflict such as war. It was the turning point that gave her the knowledge and power to redirect. It gave her hope of change for the better. She knew there was more to learn she just didn’t know how much more there was. She could only ask herself two question why is my daughter so fragile? How do I help her become who she should be to survive in this world that can be so self serving?
She would find the answers, it would take her 3 more years to learn how and another 2 years to move her daughter in a position of self power to say no or yes at the right times, to be able to act on the best choice and not just react.
I think of families unable to function well, not being able to even agree on the smallest things and then I think at this moment how difficult it has been for the United States Congress, Senate and President to work together. After all I don’t believe there is any question that these men and women are intelligent and want the best for the country. That is not in dispute. If all do not have the same ideas of working together towards a common goal how can any solution that will be acceptable all be worked out together? The one light I see is a leader who understands the complexities of the situation knowing what to do and using every tool to bring everyone to a point of agreement. A difficult task indeed with many who criticize. Not protections, just an idea of moving together to find the best way.
This task is further hindered with the way each brain processes the information (1) which could push to a point of non negotiation with the differences in how to view the situation leading to very different solutions.
Leaders who are able to function well enough to get elected to their seat, yet hold them back from doing the job they are elected to do. We do not have the ability to change the function of each brain, however I do believe with a lifestyle change each person has that ability to modify thinking to include opposite points of view.
The one tool we have here in the United States in favor of change is the ability to apply enough pressure to create the idea of working together as a better alternative than not to work together. For our leaders to come up with a solution for all to benefit from by having enough people voice that opinion. It would be up to those in power to figure out a way to work together, to be open to that idea, to look at things from the outside to see what is the best action to handle the complexes issues of today’s government.
Whether we as a country taking the best action, we can all agree no action will lead us down the wrong path. Today that choice is most likely to happen with less then 24 hours before there is no choice, except to accept the plan that is place, that will change the stability of the country, costing billions. The good part is it will not be too late to regroup and make better choices in the near future for a better working country in the long run.
When our leaders come up a dollar short and a day late we all loose, for me it tells me that they are in need of a change of views, to change their ideas to see many different ways and interpreter them better to see the best way to move this country. The only way I know to make that happen is if each person in leadership steps onto the path of True Health becoming who they should be to begin with. A better version of themselves. I have seen many changes in leadership, I do think we have the right leadership on both sides of the isle, I am just waiting for them to become who they should have been all along.
Even with families not being able to agree to move forward or the United States government the answer is the same for the underlying issue is the same. If a person is not on the path of True Health they are not who they could be. They do not carry the strength they need to see when they should say yes or no. Or the ability to see the best solution.
They live in a world that is too dark to see except the light as if sitting in the wilderness with the only light coming from the camp fire. The amazing part about when you put our the fire, your eyes adjust and you can see into the depths of the night, not even needing a flash light. The first time I went to camp and the generator was shut down for the night. I was in sudden absolute darkness and not having a flash light was the day I learned what I was missing. At first it was scary and I wondered how I would make it back to the cabin, within a few moments I no longer wondered, I could see what I needed to see and the path was clear, my eyes only had to adjust to the dark. I would have never seen this without the lights being shut off, it gave me a gift to know that things change and we have to adjust to the change before we know if it something workable.
In science there is tons of good studies that support this line of thinking. One that I came across was the idea of adult brain cells and the rest of the brain cells having the potential of becoming adult brain cells allowing the person to obtain a higher functioning brain. (1) The other is the human brain shrinking with age (4) or growing. (5),
The incredible shrinking brain sounds like we are tied to a horror story with a study released by PNAS (Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences) (4) finding chimpanzee brains didn’t shrink over time, unlike human brains loosing volume with age. With this information we know it is possible to “loose” our brains with age can we build them up over time also? It looks like a yes.
One study from Brown University noted by the Franklin Institute that that learning produces a change allowing the human brain to store new information. (5) giving us all an option to improve. If we can remember more there are more recourses for our minds to create new ideas and choices.
From my personal experience I have seen growth in abilities, memories, thoughts and actions not only in myself, but my family. I do not believe we are unique. This could only have been an option created by the lifestyle changes over the last 3 years. I can only wish I had a brain scan before and after to show the difference. All I can show people are pictures of me of then looking old and fat and now looking younger now then 3 years ago. The best feeling of all for anyone who takes control and steps on to the path of True Health from each person around the world to the leaders of countries around the world. Having a body and a mind that works at optimal levels is the one tool that helps to work together to solve the most complex problems.
Photo by Cynthia G. Creel all rights reserved ©2013
Kitty half inside and half outside unable to decide, no movement forward, just there.
2-28-2013
all rights reserved ©2013 written permission is needed to duplicate
Disclaimer: This article is not intended to provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Views expressed here do not necessarily reflect those of By Design or Cynthia G. Creel. Consultation of a medical professional is highly recommended before any changes are considered. This article is not saying anyone person in a leadership position is unhealthy or healthy, it is just a possibly of many and is only speaking in general terms. .
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Sources:
(1) http://lifeisgoodbydesign.blogspot.com/2013/02/cultivating-mind-for-more-solutions.html
(2) http://www.livescience.com/8343-personality-predicted-size-brain-regions.html
(3) http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3049165/
(4) http://www.pnas.org/content/early/2011/07/20/1016709108
(5) http://www.fi.edu/learn/brain/exercise.html